I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
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