If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
vagina is talking i cant
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
