My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
