Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
do herpes really smell.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
