A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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