your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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