I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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