She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
