we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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