Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize