so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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