walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
do nipples grow back?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
