Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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