you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
