just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
