PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize