Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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