in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
