I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my being single is dangerous.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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