I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize