my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
