Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
