so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Congratulations! We have a period
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
