He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize