just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
