Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
