the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
