The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
