my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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