You're completely useless in the revolution.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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