which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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