you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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