Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
