Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
