he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize