just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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