We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize