it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
