Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
