Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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