So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
