i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
