I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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