nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
