Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
