scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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