He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
