Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
