No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sext me about skeletons
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize