wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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