giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
