we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Holy sore nipples Batman
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
