Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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