wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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