And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
