He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
