Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize