you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
