Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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